Guardian Life & Style (US) • Jan. 6, 2026, 11:44 a.m.

<p>The strong and silent masculine image is often derided, but why? Perhaps companionship via trains, golf or a quiet drink is enough</p><p>It’s good to talk.

Or so men are always being told, by everyone from mental health campaigners to the women they live with, bemused by the male tendency to spend all night in the pub with friends they have known for decades and yet come back utterly clueless about whatever is going on in each other’s lives. What can they be <em>doing</em>, all that time?

Why haven’t they asked how X feels about splitting up with his girlfriend, or how Y is coping with his father dying?</p><p>To women whose own friendships revolve around an intimate and encyclopaedic knowledge of each other’s innermost feelings, intimacy based on never seemingly talking about anything that matters looks oddly empty and sad.

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